Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tickets, Provision, Uncertainty, and Ground Beef

Hello! Time is passing quickly here. I'm still enjoying my life just as much as before, yet I wonder if when things will begin to slow down or to at least settle into a pattern, whether my perspective will be different. It's hard to miss things back in the states simply because I don't have the time to. God has surrounded me with loving, welcoming people and a challenging work load; my mind has had no time to wander. I look forward to a time soon when I can slow down to reflect. I hope that comes this weekend.

The students have a four-day week because they leave on their senior trip to Rome (Junior trip to Normandy) this Thursday night. They'll be gone for 8 days - so I won't be teaching at all next week, rather preparing lessons and sitting in on other classes. This Friday, the 9th and 10th graders are going on field trips to some trenches and a concentration camp in France, respectively. I'll be going with the 10th graders to the concentration camp as a chaperone. I'm really looking forward to this, in a sobering way.

Today I taught my first, full, 50 minute lesson to Period 2. I don't think I could have started out with something more difficult. The entire class period was poetry analysis discussion over two sonnets. Not only is poetry difficult to make exciting for students, but discussion-leading skills are not my forte. Looking back on it, it didn't go poorly, but, I know I could have done much better, and left discouraged. For one thing, Jill's presence in the room made me nervous to teach on something she was so knowledgeable about. Secondly, it's my first time leading an analysis discussion with seniors. Thirdly, for a number of reasons I wasn't able to teach the lesson as I would have liked; it felt like I was trying to imitate someone else, and doing a poor job because it wasn't me. I look forward to being able to take the class on completely, and feeling the freedom to teach "my style." So, today did leave me feeling some uncertainty about whether I'll ever be really good at discussion leading. My perfectionism is kicking in, and I understand it just takes practice, but I still can't help but feeling that I want to do it perfectly NOW. The more I see Jill teach and hear her talk, the more I realize how little I actually know about teaching, and even about my content. This has a twofold effect on me: to work hard to become better, and to feel too intimidated to even try. I would appreciate prayer, that I would laugh at my mistakes and allow them to motivate me to press on even more diligently.

On to Tickets and God's provision. This weekend, Julie and I sat down to buy tickets for an upcoming weekend trip to London. The school has one day off this entire semester, and we are looking forward to using that 3-day weekend to travel! Previously, we had looked online for tickets and found them at $75 a ticket. We thought this a great deal, but when we were ready to buy, the deal was no longer there without a near alternative. We were disappointed but tried looking at another recommended airline. To our amazement, the second airline was offering roundtrip tickets for $25 a ticket on the exact dates we needed ($42 once you include "processing fees" i.e. hidden charges. Yes, I've learned this is universal and not just in America :). We were amazed! We kept double checking the deal to find a loophole, but never found one. We immediately bought the tickets and went on to look at lodging. One of our first hits was for a hostel called "the clink." Ranging from between $15-30 a night, this hostel looked nice and clean and is centrally-located at Kings Cross St. (Yes, Platform 9 3/4 really exists there, and yes, we are going to find it. :) Praise God! All for under $100! For the Brits, I'm sorry that the pound is so weak, but it's sure great for tourists! :)

The great ending to this story is that an hour later Julie and I walked over to a Bible study we are doing with some other young, single BFA teachers, who upon hearing of our great deal, immediately bought tickets to join us. So now, on October 30, we five girls are traveling to London to see as much as we can in 48 hours! Of all the places I could visit, London is my first pick, so I'm very excited.

I'll end with a funny story. I'm making tacos for dinner tonight, so I made a list of ingredients and stopped at the grocery store on my way home from the Post Office. While in Germany last year, I often went to the grocery store and did all my own shopping and cooking. Though I haven't shopped yet this time around, I thought, "no biggie, been there done that." Upon entering the store, I suddenly remembered how little German I knew, but still managed to find the sour cream (Sauerrahm), lettuce, and tortillas quickly enough. After unsuccessfully searching around to find the ground meat, I realized with great consternation that I was going to have to buy it from the deli.

I slowly walked over to the deli and made a few preliminary, "casual" passes to scope out the scene. It looked like people were lining up along the meat glass windows, waiting to be helped. On one such pass, I made a close inspection of the meats and prices. "Should I just go back to the house and grab Maria to find the pre-packaged meat?" I thought. "I don't want to pay an extraordinary amount for the 'nicer' meat, and I especially don't want to try to communicate in front of all these people." Finally, eyeing what looked to be the closet thing to ground beef there and feeling desperate to buy some and get out, I took my spot in line and thought about what I would say. I could point at the meat and say "eins pound." Thus far, I've been able to get along fine with "danke", "Hallo," and my pitiful knowledge of German numbers. Hopefully, she'd know what "pound" meant. I envisioned myself walking home with a huge bag of ground beef and explaining all the ways we could use it in dishes for the next 2 weeks. The line slowly trinkled down till I was next up. I almost had my very short speech down when I looked a little closer at the sign next to the ground meat. I suddenly remembered that Germans use the gram weight system, not the pound! I could feel my heart freeze. I quickly tried to remember the conversion between pounds and grams. Was a kilogram close to a pound? Was it significantly more, less? Did I know any other size grams come in besides the kilo?- no. No time to think, I was next. She flung a string of German at me. I pointed accusingly at the meat and blurted out "eins......."

I can't really remember what happened next except that I think she filled in "kilo" after my stuttering to which I quickly nodded my head. She seemed to think that was an appropriate amount. I watched her scoop out a fair-sized piece and weigh it at .755. I figured that looked like enough and motioned that I was happy with that. I was very thankful to say my "danke" and to walk quickly away. Oh boy, what a traumatizing experience. I was thankful that I had at least remembered to bring a basket from home to carry my purchases in. (fyi, we still ended up having extra meat after dinner and are currently planning on having a nice red meat sauce and pasta for tomorrow night's dinner

Thanks for reading. :)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Long Week Ended


Wow, it was nice to "sleep in." The last 2 nights have been much better. I think I'm finally done with jet lag. Pictured to the right is a local church in Riedlingen. Let me divide this blog into three difference sections: school, home, and personal.

School:
It's great to be teaching. Wednesday and Thursday were spent doing more observations and trying to figure out my schedule. Here's what it looks like I'll be doing:

1st Period - 12 grade Brit Lit.
2nd Period - 12 grade Brit Lit.
3rd Period - sit in on Jill's AP Brit. Lit.
4th-5th Period - planning periods
6th Period - resource room
7th Period - 12 grade Brit Lit.

So, I'll be doing one lesson prep a week (how nice!). The resource room is for the middle school and consists of ESL (English as a Second Language) or LD (Learning Disability) students who need additional help. I'll be helping them with their hw or specific things assigned by their teachers. My goal will be to help them understand their assignments, work through their LD, or help them understand English better.

On Friday I taught a 20 min segment on the Shakespearean and Petrarchan Sonnet Forms. It was great to actually teach! Going into school that day I was not looking forward to it. It didn't seem something "fun" to do. By the time I had completed my 3rd time in 7th period, I was having a blast. By only observing this week, I haven't had any connection with the students. They are used to seeing me now and expect me to be sitting at Jill's desk, but after the first day, I've just become an object in the room to them. By teaching this little section, calling on their names (I've memorized most of them - thanks for the prayers), and showing them some of my personality, I felt much more connection. This is the primary reason, I believe, for why I felt so much more excited at the end of the day. I like to teach English content, but it's relating to the students that really excites me. Making connections with them, seeing them respond to me, and investing in them is more meaningful than any number of books I could read. However, the ideal is to connect the process of relating to the students with the process of teaching literature. My fulfillment as a teacher comes in making this triangular connection between me, them, and the content. That's why I want to do all this; that's why I chose this field.

Home
I am still reminded daily of the blessing the Formans are to me. Jan's b-day was yesterday, and we had lots of cakes, tea, and yummies to celebrate. Jan and Alec left for the week to visit relatives in Switzerland. I'm sure it'll be a little lonely in the house without them. Heidi and Maria are still here, but leave Friday for London. So...I'll have a night in the house by myself. Jan told me to party it up. :)


Today, Maria and I walked to a nearby village to a cafe. The scenary, weather, food, and company were all delicious. Tonight two of Heidi's friends (art teachers at BFA) are coming over and we're having a little girl's night. Lovely. Here is a picture from the walk.






Personal:


I'm still really enjoying my time here. I've gotten into the town a little bit more; I want to explore around. I heard there are some great walking trails in the Black Forest woods. I've been discouraged because after one jog, all of my knee issues and pain came back in full force. So, I'd like to get some regular exercise, but am running out of ways to do it (haha...unintentional pun). Jan offered me the use of her bike, so I'll look into that. I heard there are bike trails to the nearest towns as well.


Well, the "quiet, peaceful life" I was so excited about having here is quickly disappearing. I should have known it was too good to be true. I'm at school from 8-4:15 each day. I get home to check and answer e-mails and unwind. By 6 I have a few hours till dinner at 8 to get things done. As of yet, I'm not able to use this time efficiently b/c I'm still too tired or scattered from the day to "get to work." At 8 I try to go downstairs to help with dinner and am eating by 8:30. We have a tv dinner and talk and watch the British "telly" till 10 where I excuse myself and get ready for bed, answer more e-mails, and other miscellaneous things till 11 when I try to get to bed for a decent 8 hours. Then, to do it all over again the next day. So, though I have a few hours in between times to get things done, it ends up being too punctuated to actually get into my work. I still feel like I'm not spending enough time with the Formans that way, either. So, no time to really relax and read. School busyness is just beginning and will only increase, so I still have to find time for that. I'm complaining now and I don't even have to clean a house or cook meals! I hope to get more efficient as I have more practice, but as for now, I am still feeling pretty rushed. One thing that has taken a lot more time than I think it should is communication with the states. Most conversations thus far have been spent getting the volume right or the video to work or the camera to stop freezing. So...this leads me to some new prayer requests:



  • That I'll be efficient with my time and prioritize what needs to be done first

  • That my communication with the states will be technically smoother and quicker than it has been.

  • That my relationships with the students will increase as I am now beginning to spend more time with them.

  • That I will make my personal time with God a priority, placing that before schoolwork and social time.
Thanks!! Here is a picture of the Forman's house with Maria nearby, coming back from grocery shopping. My window is the top one of the left side of the house (the one without shutters). Part of the roof is slanted in my room like an A-frame. I rather like it. Also, I mentioned to the Forman's about reading through the Harry Potter series when I got back to the states. They told me they had the complete set there and I'm already nearly half way through the first. I have a feeling starting this series will be a mistake as I find myself already unable to put the book down. :) Also, check out this link to view a tour of my house! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPrbgQEDxTo

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Giants among grasshoppers

The last 2 nights have been short of sleep; though tired, I've been unable to sleep. I learned tonight that this is a usual sign of jet lag. Ah...glad it's temporary. Yet, this provided me with an understanding of my inability and His capability today. The fatigue hit me hard and early this morning. "This is going to be a long day," I thought, "God, how can I get through 7 more hours without being awake. I know I don't have it in me; please keep me awake." Suddenly, I was alert, and stayed this way for the entire rest of the day, a complete change from yesterday.

I'm beginning to plan a trip to London for the end of October, but am overwhelmed with finding the time to plan and with thinking through all the details for such a trip. The Forman's have so willingly offered their time and knowledge that I walked in on them looking up cheap flights and hostels for me. I talked to Jill the next day, explaining that unless Julie went, I didn't want to go alone. Jill discussed ways to make the trip economically feasible for Julie to go and so much wanted me to go that she offered, despite the cost, to be my traveling partner if Julie couldn't. Before I left for the day, Jill called Julie and I over to show us a smattering of tickets she had found along with places to stay, discussing options for best traveling dates and converting everything to American dollars to help us grasp the planning better. All this to say, of myself, I could never have gotten this information, but God worked around me without me.

God again showed His adequacy in my inadequacy later that night at a new arrival's party. At the end, BFA's director, Tim Shuman, read something in which the author said how each of us has a God part that cannot be filled except by Him. We cannot "succeed" except by Him. I thought about how clearly God has been teaching me this through student teaching. Thus far, I've had little moments along the way where I think, "oh my word, I can never do this. I'm not smart enough, not good enough..." Then I stop and think, "well, yeah, of course I can't, but God can." I've hear this preached a lot, but this shouldn't make it trite. I began thinking that perhaps it's not until I am in a situation uncomfortable or seemingly "beyond myself" that I most realize it. Yet, Christianity makes it clear that I never have what it takes to do what it takes. So, then I wonder about the many times I've walked away from a situation and considered it "successful" or "unsuccessful" because of what I could or could not do. When actually, both situations could have been perfect if I had the faith to not rely on my preparation or ability so as to let God do what He wills through me. I've heard this a lot, but have seen it in actuality this week. The fun part is getting to see miraculous results that could never have happened if it had been of/through me. If of me, I ho-hum along kicking over ant hills and wondering "where's the exciting Christian life? Where are the mountains?" My common misconception has been that the exciting missionary type of life and miracles only happens in foreign missions. But, this misconception comes from my lack of faith.

Watchman Nee says, "God sets us free from the dominion of sin, not by strengthening our old man but by crucifying him; not by helping him to do anything but by removing him from the scene of action. For years, maybe, you have tried fruitlessly to exercise control over yourself, and perhaps this is still your experience; but when once you see the truth you will recognize that you are indeed powerless to do anything, but that in setting you aside altogether God has done it all. Such a discovering brings human striving and self-effort to an end."

This post only lists a few scenarios where God has proven all-sufficient in my insufficiency; I could write many more. I confidently trust He'll provide me with what I need to do "impossible things," and best of all, to do them without anything of me that is not of Him. I feel like Caleb and Joshua; God is a giant among the grasshoppers.

Oh - and one more instance. Since my first day, I've been kicking myself for not bringing my water bottle. I like to drink a lot of water, but can't/won't unless I care a bottle around; not drinking enough water definitely affects my performance, energy, health, etc. Plus, Germans don't drink a lot of tap water, so it's not easily accessible. I prayed God would provide me with a cheap water bottle. My favorite kind are nalgenes, but I didn't even expect something like that as it would most definitely cost 15+ Euros. I would be fine with some cheapy. As I was walking by the office today, I saw two nalgene bottles in the window that are the exact shape, color, and size of my absolute favorite nalgene at home. I wondered if they were from lost and found or something. As I got closer I saw that they had a sweet BFA logo on them with a sign "water bottles: 4 Euros each." I couldn't believe it! So cheap! I bought one right away and was told they were the only two left. I am now happily drinking water and thanking God. :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

First Day Teaching!


My first weekend went by smoothly and quickly. Sunday I visited the local Black Forest Community Fellowship Church that many of the local North American families and dorm students attend. The service is run very much like a North American, non-denominational church with worship team, sermon, and a good, old-fashioned, Baptist potluck afterwards. :) I met with my teacher, Jill, for coffee and cake at a local bakery. We discussed the classes and material for a few hours. She showed me the classroom and I was able to ask all of my questions. This time was really relieving and I feel a lot better about it all now. I really like Jill; she’s down-to-earth and genuinely cares for her students. I know I can learn a lot from her; she’s a really good teacher!

Alec and Jan’s brother David came back from a weekend men’s retreat hiking on Sunday. David lives in Essex, England, but came down for the week. He has a near-Cockney accent, “lazy English,” similar to Eliza’s father in My Fair Lady. We had tea at five and I enjoyed learning more about how to have “proper” English tea. Afterwards, David and I had a long conversation about 1960’s music, most of which I followed slowly between his accent, foreign names, and lack of British 1960’s music knowledge. I could follow the Beatles talk, however! At the end, we moved to sports. He expressed much surprise and increased respect at my knowing who Chelsea and Manchester United were. Thanks, Josh. :) We had a tv dinner of sandwiches and yogurt in front of Extreme Factor (Simon’s British version of American Idol). I’m still trying to find the balance between spending time with my host family (where I can’t get work done) and holing myself away. It’s going to get even more difficult after I start teaching full time.

Monday was my first day of school! I was so excited to begin. The school begins at 9:00, teachers arrive at 8:00. Each class period is 50 min. I will be teaching 1st,2nd, and 7th period which are all 12th grade British lit. Jill also teaches 3rd and 4th period AP British Lit, which I’m not allowed to teach. I didn’t realize I’d only be teaching 3 classes, and need to quickly find other things to fill up the remaining hours. Otherwise, 3 periods will not meet the requirements for student teaching. I’m investigating working with the ESL and/or Discovery (special ed.) program. I made a small power point presentation with slides about my home state/facts/arch pictures, family, dogs, and college. I showed it in all 3 classes, and they seemed to enjoy learning more about me.

I met so many people at the school today! I typically try hard to remember a person’s name the first time I meet them (I hate that excuse “I’m not good at remembering names”) but this will prove a challenge. The students are assigned seating in the 3 classes for the next 2 weeks so I can get used to their names. I’ll start memorizing them tomorrow. Overall, I was very impressed by the students. They are much more polite and well-behaved than most students I’ve had in the states. The teachers kept telling me I’d be spoiled by BFA students, and after today I can see why. One student today asked me if I was a Cards fan. :)

I talked to Laird Leavit, the school principal, for about an hour, during one of my free periods. He’ll be the one to observe me teaching, fill out critiques, and take the place of my supervisor from Cedarville. He told me all about BFA school history, German connections, demographics, staff, faculty, resources, sports, etc. It was very interesting, not just to hear what he had to say (he’s originally from AZ) but to hear his way of thinking, a missionary, international school principal’s perspective.

After I got back from school, I took a short nap (a combination of a bad night’s sleep and remaining jet lag made me pretty fatigued in class today. I tried everything in my power not to nod off. That’d be a great first impression to Jill and my students!), and then had a “tea party” with the family. We had “cream tea” which means having milk & tea with scones, jam, and cheese spread. We are having Yorkshire pudding tonight. At the tea table today I decided that I’m having to learn 2 languages here: German and English. I don’t know if I’m learning more about German culture or English culture. :)

I had some little funny stories to report, but the facts took up too much space. I’ll be more succinct next time! Tschus!

An English tea. The cat is a tea pot warmer.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Safe and Sound

I'm here and well! Finally, all the waiting is over. My travel experience was quite less than relaxing, however. Though, I am not really complaining, because others have had far worse.

My flight from STL to ATL was delayed 1.5 hours due to weather conditions in ATL. Thus, I arrived in ATL at 10:20 with my next flight leaving to Paris at 10:55. I reached my flight about 10 minutes before take-off after scurrying across the airport, toting my heavy carry ons and reading directional signs - I was very out of breath. There were nearly a dozen stand-bys who were not very eager to see me arrive.

The flight was good but long. I was glad to have my down, winter coat on me because it was pretty cold. I was able to sleep some on and off. My Paris layover was slow and easy. Thanks for the prayers, it was very easy to navigate, I just kept looking for Concourse "G2" signs and did fine. I took a 10-min shuttle to the G terminal, and it was nice to see some of the outside of the airport. The terminal was run a little differently than an American one. Everyone in the concourse waits in this really large room full of benches and shops and such. Your actual gate number is not assigned until about 20 minutes before your flight. My flight to Basel, Switzerland was supposed to leave at 3:45, but kept getting delayed in 10 minute increments until 5:30. So, I finally arrived in Basel a little after 6:45 and was afraid Jan would have had to wait a long time, but she had looked up the flight online first, seen the delay, and didn't have to wait at all. Yay! Funny side note: As we were driving back I was looking at road signs and saw one for "St. Louis." My host family explained that there was a town about 10 minutes north of Basel that we would travel through on our way home called St. Louis. So, I left St. Louis and paid lots of money and time to arrive in St. Louis. Great. :)

The drive from Basel to Kandern was about 20 minutes. We had delicious taco salad for dinner while watching British television, Strictly Come Dancing. My hostfamily, the Formans, really like to watch tv at nights, so I'm sure I'll get quite a taste for British television. I'm looking forward to watching BBC.

Today was slow and relaxing; I finished unpacking, met up with Julie, another Cedarville student teacher who just arrived, and she, Jan, Jan's daughter Maria, and I all went shopping at a nearby town. I was proud to buy a glue stick. My goal was to get through the check out without making it clear I didn't speak German. I thought I had succeeded until at the end she spoke a long sentence followed by an expectant look. I randomly guessed that she was asking if I wanted a bag to put the glue stick in, so I said "yes," and was relieved to see her reach for a bag. Whew...

Ok...more updates to follow. I'm meeting my cooporating teacher, Jill, tomorrow after church and will start in school on Monday!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Departure Time

I leave Thursday (tomorrow) for Germany! I'm getting very excited about going and have been feeling this week that it is time; I just want to go!

Let me fill you in a little bit more about what I'll be doing. This is my student teaching internship through Cedarville and the state of Ohio. To be licensed I must complete 12 weeks of student teaching. I'll be teaching 5 periods of 12th grade British Literature. The first 2-3 weeks will build up to full time student teaching and will involve observing, one-on-one tutoring, and teaching 1-2 classes a day. Weeks 4-9 will be full time. Weeks 10-12 will be a decrescendo out. This could vary depending upon what my cooperating teaching wants to do, but that's the framework I'm going in with.

I'll be staying with Alec and Jan Forman about a block from the school (no long walks, drives, or train rides for me!). They are originally from England, but have lived in many different countries working as missionaries, staying in Kandern (the little village BFA is in) the last 10 years. I have had some correspondance with them over the summer, and am really looking forward to getting to know them more. I can't wait to hear more of their stories and am grateful to be living with a family who speaks English; it'll make life a little easier. They should be able to help me adjust well and seem very eager to answer any questions and to make me as comfortable as possible. I'm thankful God has provided them.

The village of Kandern is beautiful! I visited there in May of '08 when I was interested in teaching at the school. It is located in a valley surrounded by part of the Black Forest. I have continually heard that the Black Forest region is the most beautiful part of Germany and experienced this first hand while over there in May. I am excited to see what Fall will look like! The Black Forest is located in the very SW tip of Germany. If you climb the nearest hill, I am told you can see into France and the Swiss Alps! Kandern is below Freiburg on the map below. Click here to see some pictures of the area from BFA's website. They are worth a look!