The End

I am safely back in the states! My flights did not go smoothly, but I did make them, so thanks for your prayers. It was at the JFK layover that I had some snags. I found out, after having already re-checked my bags and having gone through security to my gate, that my boarding pass was invalid (something that none of the previous airports had caught, including when I re-checked my luggage at JFK). Back in August I discovered that my Paris-Newark flight had been canceled; I was told to wait and Delta would re-assign me a flight, which they did in November. The new flight put me from Paris to JFK and then from JFK to STL. While they did book me a flight from JFK to STL (my previous one being from Newark to STL) they didn't actually buy me a ticket. I only found this out after reaching JFK. Initially, Delta wouldn't swap me a flight onto the JFK-STL flight because my original (Newark-STL) had been through Continental. However, after I explained to them that the original switch from had been there own doing, they realized it was their fault and were quick to get me a ticket to the flight my baggage was already on. :) If you followed that, then good. All in all - I was looking forward to my 5 hour layover at JFK to relax, call some friends, and rest. Instead, I spent 4 hours of it going through customs and jumping all over the airport, back and forth, waiting in lines, to fix my ticket problem. I've never been so glad to pass through the gate onto the airplane before in my life.

It's good to be home again. I'm still a little out of the swing of things, but I look forward to getting into a schedule and hopefully finding a job for this semester. I look forward to the Christmas season approaching and to catching up with friends and family.

Thanks for following my blog! This'll be my last post as my time in Germany has ended. I've enjoyed journaling on here and sharing my experiences with you. Thanks for reading and commenting. And...Merry Christmas!

Homeward Bound

Even though writing about it now, it is still difficult for me to imagine my time here being almost over. It's like that "upcoming event" that is always upcoming, so much so that you never imagine it to arrive. When it finally does, you don't know what to do, you only anticipated the anticipation and are at a loss with what to do with the arrival.

The Formans left this Monday for a 2-week holiday to England. It was hard to say goodbye to them, knowing I may never see them again. I gave them a few gifts after we watched our last night of X-Factor together. In the morning, I got up a little earlier and sat in my usual spot on the stool in the kitchen, leaning my head back against the refrigerator and chatting with Jan about whatever came into my head or hers as she bustled about getting ready for their trip. It was a sweet memory to leave on, one I've had many times since being here. Yet, the day quickly picked up with its usual array of activities, and before I realized it, I was swept up with the "next phase." I wonder if the rest of my goodbyes, though initially dreaded, will end up being that way? I realize this doesn't mean that I didn't care about the people, but rather that life is full of a continual stream of "hello's" and "goodbye's" and that you have to invest where you are as you can but then be prepared to move on to the next. Some respond to this pattern by never planting down roots and never investing emotionally because "they can handle it without that investment" or "it hurts too much otherwise." This isn't right either, however. God provides us with what we need to plant, root, and uproot over and over again because it isn't those relationships that sustain us anyway. This makes me grateful for long-distance communication. I'm sure I'll still keep in contact with the Formans, and I am content for my 3 months with them to remain as a memory: a wonderful and joyful time.

Heidi is still at home, working full-time at Starbucks. So, I'm doing most of the dinner cooking this week and am having fun with it. Last night I made orange chicken over rice and mixed pomegranate and clementines for a fruit salad dessert. Tonight I'm going to make a herb grilled potato/chicken/vegetable medley, I believe. Lots of olive oil, garlic, onion, and rosemary. Mmmm. One thing I really look forward to baking back in the states is homemade bread. That's always been my favorite thing to cook and I've missed it.

The week, otherwise, has been a little slow. Because I'm not teaching, I've had lots of time to enjoy some pleasure reading and entertainment. I just recently finished Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis and thought it was amazing. Though, I'm going to have to re-read the last few chapters because it got very deep very quickly and completely went over my head.

I'd like to request prayer for my flight home. I normally feel completely comfortable flying and getting around, even when I don't know where I'm going. But, this time for the first time, I feel angst about it. I've had some flight switch-ups and hope that I still have the 3 flights I need; I have to mess with claims, checked luggage switches, and going through customs; I have a rather short layover in Paris and am slightly concerned about making my flight (Paris is big and poorly designed - confusing!). So I'd appreciate your prayers for smooth and safe travel.

The first 10 things I'm going to do in the states:
1) Hug my parents and dog
2) Tackle my sisters
3) Drive a car while talking on my cell phone
4) Eat at Panera Bread and listen to the surrounding English conversation
5) Throw all of my trash in one garbage can (there are 3 types of required recycling here)
6) Push a shopping cart around Walmart aimlessly
7) Eat half-price appetizers at Applebees
8) Meander for hours through shops without ever leaving the building (aka the mall)
9) Go to an English bookstore
10) Read every sign and printed matter with perfect understanding and clarity.

Good Company and Good Fun

What a great week! Josh and I had a great time doing a variety of activities.

Thursday night we had a "British High Tea" with the Formans. This consisted of lots of yummy, traditional foods and good company and fellowship with the Formans. Josh and I also explored the town and enjoyed walking in the crisp, night air. I showed him the local dorms as well as the "terrifying golf course" and other local attractions.

Friday, Josh came to school with me and got the opportunity to see what my average day is like at BFA. It was quite fun watching the students' faces as they entered the classroom looking from Josh, to me, and then back. Some of them knew and word quickly spread that my boyfriend was at school. Many of the girls gave me big smiles. :) I had a little fun with 7th period and gave them the following multiple choice quiz:

Is Josh my A) brother B) cousin C) boyfriend or D) a visiting teaching considering teaching here. There was a resounding agreement on "C" to which I smiled broadly and continued with class. During the sixth period resource class, we decorated the room with Christmas details and cut out snowflakes. Josh and I made a 3-D snowflake that was so fun that we made 3 more at the Forman's later.

Saturday was probably my favorite day. After a relaxing morning, we went to the local dorm, Palmgarten, and I did formal updos for the girls there in preparation for the Christmas Banquet that night. It was a great opportunity for me to get to know the girls better outside of class, and I really enjoyed our conversations. It really was a dual-fold blessing because I loved doing the hair and making the connections, and they loved getting their hair done. You could tell by some of their smiles that they simply felt like princesses when they looked in the mirror. The dorm set up booths for manicures, make-up, and hair that several women volunteers ran according to their talents. I received so much joy from watching the girl's smiles widen in wonderment and awe as they surveyed their done-up hair and makeup. They could tell they looked like something special and lived in the glow of it the entire night. They all looked really beautiful

After my own fiasco with my hair, I got ready for the banquet as well and matched Josh in black and red. He brought me a bouquet of pink roses and we set off for banquet. It was chilly out, but the banquet was fun. The students performed different, prepared acts including singing, playing, rapping, and monologuing. Two teachers acted as hosts/MCs for the night. BFA has a tradition of granting several "Christmas wishes" that the students write before-hand. No one knows which ones will be answered on stage; this year's ranged from "seeing so-and-so eat an apple in 3 bites (which he then did on stage in two)," to "eating Korean rice at banquet" to "hearing a 'rap off' between teacher Bowen and student so-and-so." All of these were done on stage, most extemporaneously, but some pre-planned. It was great!

After we went to church on Sunday, Josh and I went to the Basel Christmas Market with some of my friends. The Germany Christmas Market is a big deal, and most towns host one. They consist of little stalls covered in pine branches and lights that sell various trinkets, foods, and drinks. It's fun to walk around and get into the spirit of Christmas.

Monday I took the day off school, and Josh and I went to Freiburg. It was nice to be back again since Julie and I went a while ago. We visited Heidi at Starbucks, looked at the local Christmas Market, walked around the town, and enjoyed Italian pizza. It was a full and rainy day, so we were glad to relax later that evening with the Formans at home.

Tuesday was my last day teaching! It was very bittersweet because while I am glad to not have to write lesson preps anymore, I'll miss teaching the students and interacting with them. I announced the news at the end of each class, and received lots of hugs from my students, which was very touching. I also had my final observation from Laird, which went very well. These observations have been very effectual in making me a better teacher and teaching me more about my strengths and weaknesses. I have grown a lot over the 3 months of observing/teaching. It'll be weird now to go back to sitting in the class and observing. A little boring, most likely, but it'll only be for 1.5 weeks. Tuesday night we went to a Kari and Mike's apartment for dinner. We ate Raclette. It's a really fun, social meal that involves cooking your own food over a table-centered grill. Mike and Josh then introduced Kari and I to Monty Python, which I was surprised to find that I quite enjoyed. I actually do really like that style of humor. But, it becomes wary after watching too many "Sketches."

Now, Wednesday, Alec and I dropped Josh off at the airport, and I returned to another school day. It's weird to think that I only have 1.5 weeks left. Transitioning back to the states will be quite different; it'll be hard to leave this community that I've grown to love so much. But, I do believe that the next stage and location of life is in God's will, so I will look forward to being back in the states and to see what lies ahead.

Thanks for reading!

The End of Renaissance Poetry

Tomorrow, Tuesday, I will be finishing the 6-week unit on the Renaissance. We'll be reading selections from Paradise Lost. As I was preparing for it this evening, I was struck by the powerful diction Milton uses to convey his meaning. I have never read this epic poem, and was quite taken back by it. It begins from Satan's perspective as he discusses how he intends to bring about the fall of man. I don't read very many fictional accounts from a satanic perspective, but the times I have (The Screwtape Letters) I am reminded of his utter deceitfulness and hatred towards God. I pray that tomorrow I'll be effective in stirring some spiritual thinking. I don't care as much about effectively transmitting literary knowledge this time as I do about stirring spiritual thinking.

After tomorrow, I only teach two more days: Friday and then Tuesday. Jill is teaching the days in between and to the end. We're starting the Enlightenment Period on Wednesday.

My feelings about finishing teaching at BFA are two-fold: happy and sad. Happy: I am glad to be finished teaching because it is a lot of stress. As I was talking to a friend today, I had an epiphany comparison. Student teaching is to engagment as teaching is to marriage. While I love student teaching here, I still feel constant pressure to perform. I get the feeling there are always eyes on me testing me, and I'm constantly having to balance many different logistical things that regular teachers do not. This phase has less responsibility, but it is also less stable and has less control. I think my feelings on this are appropriately timed with the ending of the internship. God's good like that. Sad: I'll really miss my students, the relationships I've formed with staff, and the BFA community. Quitting teaching is the first step of a series of steps towards disconnecting and saying "goodbye." The people here are so good and pleasant to be around. I thought that I would not again find relationships like those at Cedarville, and yet I find myself saying that about BFA as well. I'm glad for the time here. And who knows, I feel assured I'll see some of these faces again: sometime, somewhere.

This week looks busy! Josh is flying in to visit me this Thursday (yay!!) and we have a lot of fun activities planned. I'm planning a chili dinner for this Friday and have invited a few friends to come over and have dinner with Josh, the Formans, and me. I'm going to cook my competition chili and some other yummy goodnesses (including a pumpkin cheesecake!). It's been too long since I've planned and cooked a full dinner (a company-quality dinner). I've been so excited to plan this out, get recipes and ingredients, and pay attention to all the details of planning a meal. :) I'm slow at it now, but I hope I become more efficient with more practice. Jan gives me good advice. For instance, I didn't realize that Germany doesn't sell canned pumpkin (puree or mix). So, looks like I'm going to learn how to cook a pumpkin and turn it into a suitable puree that the recipe calls for. Also, she, in all the countries and cultures she has lived in, has never heard of cilantro. I was surprised! Is this just a N.A. herb? I'm afraid they won't have it here, which is sad b/c it's a key ingredient to the recipe. :( Josh and I are doing some other fun things also, but I'll post about that in my next post, hopefully accompanied by pictures!

I also want to thank those of you who have sent me "care packages." I've received several really thoughtful ones helping me to celebrate the fall season as well as one - a "date in a box," which was a blast via skype! These have been really meaningful to me. Thanks! The one pictured is from my mom.

More to follow soon! Happy Thanksgiving!

A Relaxed Week

Well, the main of the swine flu scare is over. After a four-day quarantine, there are only 2 sick students remaining. School has resumed, and the week is back into progress.

I really enjoyed this time off. I graded 50/57 papers Mon-Wed and will finish those today. Almost 6 weeks later, I can finally return my Hamlet book to the library. I did start to get a little cabin fever by the time Tuesday evening rolled around. I should have thought to take a walk during those two days, but didn't end up leaving the house at all. Wednesday-Friday I'm not teaching (Wed-test, Thur-Fri - a mini-unit done by Jill). This mini-unit is a poetry analysis on John Donne's "Batter My Heart." The poem again reminded me of the work Christ has yet to do in us. Donne contrasts God as a "tinker," or one who mends things, and God as a "smith," or one who completely melts down and makes anew, the latter process obviously being more painful than the former. It causes me to ponder which I let God do in my own life.

This weekend I'll be finishing a 5-hour BBC movie on Charles Dicken's Our Mutual Friend with some of my friends. A couple of us have gotten into the habit (3rd time around) of watching long BBC films along with dinner. We all bring ingredients to contribute to the meal (homemade pizza, taco salad, potato bar) and then watch the movie. This has been so fun! I hope we get one more movie/dinner in before I have to leave. I'm also going to a bridal shower and swing dance over the weekend. Originally, I was going to a swing dance in Basel with a friend here (we both share a common interest in dancing and have tried to go to a few) but then found out about a local swing dance the same night. We decided to go the local one b/c of the higher likelihood we'll find people who speak English (some other BFAers should be going). It'll be fun!

Wow, only 3 more weeks left! I can't help but think back to my first trip to Germany. It was only 3 weeks, but at the time seemed to take much longer. Now, I've been here over 2 months and it has flown!

Due to the 3-day week, we've had to change our teaching schedule around some. I'll most likely be teaching 4 out of 5 days next week: this will complete my teaching time at BFA. The remaining 2 weeks will be for observation only. A relaxing change :).

Back to those remaining 7 papers!!

UPDATE: The papers are done, graded, and posted for all parents/students to see. Time to get my "tough skin" on.

Swine Flu

No, I don't have it...yet.

It's starting to spread quite rapidly here, however. Today they received test results back from several quarantined students with flu symptoms, and all were positive. This puts our total of swine flu students to a high enough number that the German government is getting involved with the situation. In a centralized campus boarding school, it's very hard to contain illness. BFA has a typical bout or two of flu each year, sometimes hitting up to 1/2 of the student population at one time. But, this time, it's swine flu. The first step the school is taking, in working with the government is to call a four-day weekend. So, no school on Monday or Tuesday!! If they cannot contain the spread by Tuesday, they'll extend it to the German-required 7 day quarantine and not have school until Friday. If this is the case, the teachers will have to prepare worksheets and assignments to send the students at the dorm, since we can't stop having school for an entire week, and then teach on Friday as well as Saturday. I'm glad for these extra days off to rest and grade my Hamlet papers, but an entire week off would really be difficult to make up.

During this 4-day weekend, they are canceling church and requiring the students to not leave the dorms. It is important to not spread it to the townies for their health and to keep up PR. Also, all teachers who are pregnant or in frequent contact with pregnancy/young/old/respiratory illness people have to stay away from school for the entire 7 days or longer. For the English dept, this knocks out both the 10th and 11th grade teachers. So, this week, when we do have school, we'll be doing a lot of scrambling to cover those classes. Today was a bit hectic as I taught two 12th grade periods, subbed 10th, and then raced over to do hair for the play.

The play was still allowed to remain scheduled. We have a lot of parents/relatives flying from all over Europe and North America to see it. At this point, everyone at BFA has been exposed to swine flu; however, many of the people traveling in have not. So, they required everyone going to the play both tonight and tomorrow to wear masks and wash their hands when entering and exiting the building. It was rather funny to see everyone this way. Here is the auditorium filling up. It was a full house!

I was very impressed with the show; the acting was excellent, and it was genuinely funny. The characterization really made the play, I thought.

I am very glad that the week is finally over. It's been the longest yet. I thought the students were beginning to do a little better until I gave them a group quiz today. After discussing it over with Jill, she suggested I was being too easy on them. Now I feel confused about what my expectations for the students should be. I thought my standards were high; but now I have no idea how she expects them to attain what she is asking. I guess I'm glad she's taking them back after next week? I'm really not sure how to reach what she is asking. I've realized recently a little more of what the issue is. Jill keeps saying that she's never had a class this lazy and unmotivated before. She said that this class, the class of '10, had new teachers for both 10th and 11th grade. Those teachers now have a few years under their belt and are teaching up to par, but their first year, they let the students by easy. So now, in 12th grade, this particular class has had little to no intensive English education. After learning this, it made a little more sense to me (and I'm sure my inexperience as a teacher is not helping them); I'm curious to see what Jill does with them after she takes back over. She was just beginning to see how far behind the class really was when I took over; now we're far enough into the semester that it's really coming out. Soon, I look forward to sitting back and watching the master teacher work. :) I still need prayer for guidance with the few lessons I have left with them. I may be inexperienced, but I still know what I'm teaching and I'm not giving up on trying to pull them back up to higher standards.

Ah...sleeping in for four days straight...it's too good to be true!!

Miss you all.

Entering a Difficult Week

I'm on week 8 now! Last week went well, though was a transition from London weekend to class again. I was impressed, for the most part, with the students' debates and had fun with them. I made chocolate covered pretzels for the winning teams. Yum!

Thursday and Friday I was more than a little hesitant about beginning to teach poetry. It's hard for students to find meaning through a web of literary devices and disguised intentions. I was unsure of my ability to teach the students to uncover meaning and analyze the poem. However, it went much better than I thought. I felt I had a solid grasp of the content (Shakespeare Sonnets 29, 73, 116, and 130) and was glad to be able to make lots of personal connections between the poems and contemporary, young adult life. They are all love poems, so this made it easy.

The weekend was busy. I volunteered to do hair for the upcoming school play. We had the dress rehearsal this Saturday; it was a blast! The play is set during the 70s, so I was doing lots of puffs, flips, and sassy curls. I liked the drama atmosphere and was glad to see what drama is like behind the scenes. Hair, makeup, and costumes were all done in the same room,with sheets set up to separate the girl's changing area from the boy's. Most of the girls had to add extra padding to make themselves look older, bigger, and fatter since they were playing older parts. It was hilarious because all of a sudden we heard things like, "Oh, your butt's too low, move it higher" and "do they look even?" and "you're sagging." We all started cracking up; the guys handled it good-naturedly. Ah...the honesty of drama!

Sunday night I went to the guy's dorm, Maugenhart, for dinner to help one of the student on his paper. It was interesting to see guy dorm life (I had been to a girl's dorm the week before). It was fun to observe, but I was surprised to find that most of my seniors there had not even started the paper due the following day (today), but which had been assigned 3.5 weeks earlier.

My fears were confirmed when I arrived to school Monday morning and had a discussion with Jill. She had also been to the dorms that day to offer assistance on papers and was saddened, frustrated, and angered to find that no one had started their papers yet. This is very frustrating to me. This Hamlet paper is the second and last major paper they've been assigned for the semester. It's worth a SIGNIFICANT part of their grade. The first paper, similar in direction, was awful, most students getting D's and F's. One would think they'd learn (after the serious talk Jill had with them) and change their procrastination habits for this paper. But, they didn't. Though I haven't read the papers yet, Jill and I both agree that they can't be of any better quality. For the intensity of the paper I assigned and for the place the students are at, there is no way they can have written an A or B paper in one night. Because a pretty nasty flu is rapidly spreading through the dorms and b/c of drama and SAT's that weekend, I told the students this morning (the morning it was due) that they could have an extension to Wednesday. Most of the students had stayed up way late into the night to finish the paper. I can only hope they'll use this extra time to work on it more.

My frustration has carried over into the way they are performing in class. Friday I gave them a simple lit device identification and analysis quiz on Sonnet 116. The average grade was 7/13. Failing. The skill required was something they'd done multiple times with Jill and something they should have been doing since 9th grade. I'm left wondering, "Do I babysit them and re-teach things they should already know, sacrificing the content I could cover in order to work on more basic skills?" Is this how they can best grow and learn from their lack of diligence? I need to understand that they are only in h.s. and I can't treat them fully like adults. But still, some of the things they are doing and choices they are making are really immature. Please pray for my wisdom as I continue to teach and evaluate them. I already have some ideas for steps to take. I need to find the balance between helping them out, realizing they are still young adults and learning, and between letting them receive the consequences of their poor choices.

This week is also difficult for me because it's the most intense in terms of content I have yet to teach myself before teaching them. We're covering a lot of poetry; I need to be secure enough in my understanding of it be able to teach them clearly, especially with their recently-revealed struggles. I also will be receiving 55 papers to grade on Wednesday, which will increase my work load tremendously. This Friday and Saturday is the play with a six-hour party on Sunday; so, the weekend will not give me much time. Please pray that I use my time wisely, stay healthy (the spreading flu is a stomach flu, something I don't handle well), and remain positive. I gave the students a pretty sharp lecture today regarding their papers and procrastinating, so the mood has been pretty heavy. I don't like to be mean; but it's necessary sometimes, though painful to me. I never want to be a parent. :)